Hyper
by Compassion001
Summary: Bella comes out of the bathroom and stumbles across a soda machine. soon after drinking a couple of sodas, she starts to get a bit senile. how far will she go to being crazy? read the story to find out!
1. How it happened

Hyper : going insane! Hyper going insane!

Chapter one:

it was a normal day in Biology, or so I thought, when Mr. Banner was teaching a repulsive lesson on the anatomy of both male and female frogs. I shuddered. Edward unfortunately wasn't here, seeing as it was one of those rare sunny days in Forks. So here I was sitting by myself when I realized that my bladder was full. I raised my hand, crossing and uncrossing my legs to keep my bladder from overflowing, thus embarrassing me to no end. after all, I had the bladder of a newborn kitten!

"yes, Ms. swan?" Mr. banner asked indifferently. heat flooded to my cheeks as every student in the class twisted around in their seats to look at me, expecting me to do something ridiculous, I suppose.

"can I use the bathroom? I really need to go", I very nearly shouted, trying desperately to hold in my desire to pee my pants. "seeing as you can't wait till the lesson is over, you may go to the bathroom", Mr. banner said flatly, turning back to the board.

"do you need help finding the bathroom?" mike asked me. I rolled my eyes and stood up out of my seat. "no mike. I can find it just fine, thank you", I said in annoyance. mike sulked down in his seat and pouted, his arms crossed tightly across his lanky chest.

as usual I tripped over my own two feet, causing jessica stanley to look at me. I groaned. uh-oh...and the talking begins. "are you okay?" she asked, smiling at me like a retarted little kid. I stood up and brushed off my clothes. "yeah, I'm fine. just peachy", I grumbled. only she didn't stop there. she started talking a mile a minute. "are you sure? because I could take you to the nurse to get examined to see if you have any broken ribs or bones..." her voice trailed off as I put up my hand to silence her.

beside me, lauren laughed and snorted like the disgusting pig she was.

I glared at her before turning to jessica, who was still grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. "I'm fine really. please don't ask me again...please", I said to her. she nodded and kept her mouth shut for once. thank the lord! I was beginning to think that she didn't have an off button.

admittedly, I tripped again and fell flat on my face while I was trying to walk out the classroom. I cursed under my breath. damn me and my clumsiness!

**ten minutes later:**

I was done using the bathroom and was heading back to Biology when I caught sight of the new soda machine that had been installed just a few days ago. Because my throat was dry and I had money, I bought a couple sodas that were either called **monster** or **suicidal. **I wasn't one to drink sodas that had large amounts of sugar in them but I was so thirsty that I gulped both down three sodas in five gulps.

I knew it was unhealthy to drink so much sugar but I didn't care. I bought three more sodas. after I drunk my seventh soda I began to feel dizzy but underneath that I was beginning to feel brave, like I could do anything I please.

some part of my brain kept telling that this was the reaction I got from drinking so much caffeine and that I should stop drinking them otherwise I would get very crazy. I ignored. which was a bad idea. a very bad idea.

**A half hour later:**

"isabella marie swan, you get back here this minute!' Mr. burger, the security guard called after me. I giggled and threw an empty can of soda carelessly behind me as I ran from the security guard that was chasing me down.

in my arms I held at least eight sodas, every minute or so drinking one after the other. the sugar rush geared up in me head as I drank them like there was no tommorrow.

"I'm warning you, young lady! you get back here right now!" Mr. burgers voice boomed down the hallway. I giggled uncontrollably and yelled "come on old man! catch me if you can!"

_this is stupid bella! stop acting this way! it's not right!_

the sane part of my brain pleaded. I popped open another soda and drunk it, the sugar from it washing away the pleading voices in my head. I laughed maniacally as I rounded a corner to another hallway on the second floor and looked behind me. the security guard was gaining on me!

I let out a blood curdling scream and started to yell "Rape! Rape! Rape! Rape! it's rape, I tell you! sexual abuse! I've been violated, I tell you! violated!"

"awww hell no! hell no!" Mr. burger shouted. "I don't have to take this bullshit! I don't get paid enough for this shit!"

I stopped running that time and was watching Mr. burger throw a fit and cursing out the principal and all the teachers. I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped the sodas and doubled over in laughter, gasping for air when I was finally finshed. Mr. burgers expression was priceless as it turned from pink to red to dark purple.

"you think this is funny! huh? do you?!" he growled at me, giving me a death glare that Edward could have easily topped. That only made me laugh harder. The only thing that I managed to say was "I don't take orders from the man!" and then I laughed so hard that my face turned red and I thought my intestines were going to burst.

What happened after that--I don't know, for I threw up on the floor and

fainted...

Next Chapter


	2. You ugly!

Hyper : you ugly! Hyper you ugly!

Chapter two

I woke up in the nurses office. The worst place to be when you have a major migrane because Ms. stiller, the nurse babbled more than jesssica. imagine how that must be a nightmare!

My head was killing me. I wondered what I had done to get such a headache. I didn't remember anything after I had went to the bathroom. This scared me a little. did I passout? did I take a nap or something? is there something wrong with my brain? what happened?

My stomach was hurting like crazy and I also discovered that I had a problem with burping. Every time Ms. stiller tried to say something to me...I let out a big burp.

"Ms. swan..." burp. "um...I think theres..." burp "I really think you should stop doing that..." BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!

Ms. stiller glared at me. I burped again and giggled sofly, my cheeks flushing.

"sorry...I'm not doing it on purpose. I swear", I apologized.

she continued to glare at me. "riiiiiiiiight, and I'm madonna", she said sarcastically.

I laughed inwardly. Like she could ever look or act like madonna!!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!!

I curled up into the fetal position and started to suck on my thumb, hoping that would keep me from burping. I was wrong. it didn't help one bit.

Burp!!

Ms. stiller locked her teeth together and her hands were formed into fists. "keep this up and I'll just have to send you to the principals office!" She yelled at. I cowarded down into my pillow in fear, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, thumb still in mouth.

I burped again.

I closed my eyes and waited for the fury. "That's it!!" Ms. stiller screamed.

my eyes flew open. "no, please don't! it was an accident! I swear please believe me! please, I beg you!" I screamed in fear.

She sighed and unlocked her teeth. "alright, alright, I'll have some symphathy for ya this time, princess, but the next time you let out gas...", she pointed towards the open door. "you're out!!"

I nodded quickly. "can I have some water, please? I think it would help alot", I asked quietly. She glared at me one more time before going to get me a cup of water.

I felt tired after all the burping I had done and just as I was nodding off into dreamland...I burped!

There was a crashing sound of glass as Ms. stiller screamed bloody murder.

"THAT'S THE LAST STRAW, SWAN! YOU'RE OUT!"

I leaped off the bed as fast as I could before she could catch me and raced out into the empty hall.

"SECURITY, WE'VE GOT A RUNNER!!SHE'S GETTING AWAY!!"

I ran and ran and ran until I got to the second floor. I looked behind me and discovered that no one was there. I slid down to the floor and dropped my head in my hands. what had I done? my father was sure to hear about this!

I looked up and noticed that I was leaning on a soda machine. _hmmm...that's strange. there seems to be alot of those these days. well, since I'm thirsty I might as well buy one_, I thought.

I looked into my pocket and realized that I only had ten dollars left of my allowance. That's strange. I could have sworn that I had twenty three dollars in all.

_oh well, I probably spent it yesterday or something_, I thought, slipping a dollar into the machine. I picked a coke as my choice and it cam rolling out of the slot at the bottom opening.

I retrieved the can and popped it open and took a sip. this tastes good!

_stop drinking that this instant, young lady! you know what caffiene does to you!_

a voice in my head panicked. huh? I had no idea what was talking about because I felt fine. perfectly fine.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRP!!

or not...

**After school:**

I didn't know why but I wanted to pull a prank, a joke. I felt like I-I wanted to...cheer and sing!!

I snuck into the cheerleaders locker room and put on one of their skimpy cheering outfits and stole a pair of pom-poms. I walked over to where the other cheerleaders were on the football team and started to stretch. "um...bella? what the hell are you doing? you're not a cheerleader", the head cheerleader, Celeste told me angrily.

I looked up and smiled at her. "you wanna see my routine? it's off the chiz-ang!" I said happily. Celeste smile in a sort of evil way. "yeah, humor me. let's see what you've got", she said. her other team mates gathered around to see what the commotion was about.

"is she wearing our uniform?" a brunette asked.

I ignored that.

I needed someone to help me do my routine so I ran over to mike and whispered in his ear about what we were going to do. Mike's eyes widened in horror and he yelled

"I HAVE TO DO WHAT?!"

I giggled and forced him to go into the cheerleaders locker room. After fifteen minutes Mike came out wearing the same skimpy skirt and shirt I had on with matching pom-poms. he glared at me and I laughed.

"if you do this with me...I'll give you a kiss!" That was a lie. As if I wanted my lips to fall off. Mike bought it and began stuttering like an idiot. "r-really?"

I smiled. "really", I coughed.

"GET A MOVE ON, WHAT'S YOUR FACE! WE'VE GOT MAJOR WORK TO DO!!" Celeste screamed at me.

"why the hell is mike newton dressed in a skirt? man, this is priceless!" one of the blonde haired cheerleaders said in between laughs.

"hey mike you gots the radio?"

"yeah".

"alrighty then. LET'S ROCK AND ROLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!"

Mike put in the CD I gave him and pressed the Start button on the radio.

Mike went first. He sang:

"Did you get hit in the head by a truck or did you just get bad luck and got tripped instead? because you stupid and your favorite character is cupid!!"

"Burn!!"

It was my turn. I ruffleed my pom-poms and sang:

"yo, dude, you need to get laid and make it last because with that face of yours, you need to book that surgery fast!!"

"Burn!!"

Then we mouthed the chrus together:

"U-G-L-Y, you ain't gots no alibi! you ugly! yeah, yeah! you ugly!!"

Mike did a worm on the floor and sang:

"you gots a nose like a pig!!

"BURN!!"

I leaped in the air and sang:

"with that hair, you should be wearing a wig!!"

"Burn!!"

Mike sang:

"girl, look at the weight on you! you look so fat!

weight like that surely can break a bat!!

"burn!!"

I glared at him and "accidentally kicked him in the shin. it didn't have any effect on him.

I was up next. I sang:

"yo, boy, one of these days you 'bout to get schooled .

if you think you gots rappin down you stupid because you ain't gots me fooled!!"

Then we sang the last chorus toghether that I made up on the spot.

"YOU FUGLY,

YEAH! YEAH!

YOU STUGLY,

YEAH! YEAH!

AND MOST OF ALL YOU UGLY!!"

Celeste and her teammates just stared at us in awe, like what?

"where did you learn those cheers?" celeste asked me, smiling a real smile now.

"that's for me to know and you to find out", I answered proudly.

"you have to teach us the routine. in fact we could really use you guys on our team!"

I snorted. "this routine is ours and ours only! so...you can't have it!"

Celeste looked like she might cry. "b-b-but..." her voice trailed off.

"no buts. mike and I have to go now", I said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Celeste screamed as I walked off with Mike.

I popped open another soda and gulped it down without mercy. "MY LIPS ARE CHAPPIN, LETS GET SMACKIN'!!" Mike yelled, grabbing my wrist. I giggled and smacked him across the face...hard.

"What The Hell WAS THAT FOR!?"

"YOU WERE BEING FORWARD!!"

"I WAS NOT!!"

"WAS TOO!!"

"WAS NOT!!"

"I'M TELLING EDWARD ON YOU!!"

Mike gasped. "YOU WOULDN'T!!"

I smiled. "I WOULD!!"

"I WANNA SEE YOU TRY!!"

"I'm REACHING FOR MY CELL PHONE!!"

"NO DON'T!! I WAS KIDDING, BELLA!! PLEASE DON'T!! HE'LL KILL ME!!"

"THATS THE WHOLE IDEA!! DUH!!"

"PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING!!JUST DON'T DO IT!!"  
I grinned wickedly.

"I DARE YOU TO...RAPE TYLER AND ERIC!!"

Mike's eyes bulged out of it's sockets in shock.

"YOU DARE ME TO DO WHAT?!"

I laughed maniacally. "YOU HEARD ME, YOU CUNT!!"

"I CAN'T DO IT! I'LL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE!!"

"THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!! GENIOUS!!"

"OH COME ON!! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!!"

I sighed. "IT'S THAT OR YOU GO FUCK A DUCK!!"

"I'D RATHER DIE!!"

"ALRIGHT THEN. YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT. I'M GOING TO CALL EDWARD!!

mike started to cry and I laughed. "are you crying? man, you really are as fruity as everyone says you are...QUEERDO!!"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!!"

"YES IT IS. IT'S A MIXTURE OF QUEER AND WEIRDO".

"DUDETTE, YOU'VE GONE MAD I TELL YOU!! MAD!!"

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT I NEED HELP?"

I got up in his grillz and glared at him, forming my hands into fists.

"N-NO, BELLA. I WAS TRYING TO SAY THAT...MAYBE YOU'VE HAD A BIT TOO MUCH ACOHOL TODAY!!"

"THAT'S IT, NEWTON!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!" I screamed.

I was about to hit him when I heard someone say "ISABELLA SWAN, YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!!"

my eyes got big. "HOLY SHIT STICKS!! IT'S MR. BURGER!!"

Mike looked at me like I had two heads and said quietly "what did you do now?"

I ignored his question and said instead "GOTTA RUN!!SEE YA, WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA!!"

Then I took off running down the street to my house like a burglar, screaming "RAPE!! RAPE!! RAPE!!"

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter


	3. Office madness!

Hyper : Office madness!! Hyper Office madness!!

Chapter three

I was utterly humiliated and slightly confused the next day I went to school. I was humiliated because people laughed at me and kept staring at me all throughout class for what reason I dont know at this point. I was confused because people kept telling me that they witnessed me doing some pretty crazy things yesterday.

That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that when I got home yesterday my father yelled at me, telling me that he got a call from the principal. When I asked him about what I did he just stood there shaking in anger and told me that I was...grounded for...three weeks. I cried because I didn't know what I did to deserve to be grounded and because he wouldn;t tell me what I did.

creepy stuff huh?

I was called to the principals office during my English class. I grimaced and wiped my tear streaked cheeks.

This was wrong on sooo many levels!

I had NEVER gotten in trouble at school! why did the principal want me?

I couldn't have done something that bad...right?

or...I could have a multiple personality disorder! gasp!

could it possibly be connected to Charlie grounding me for god knows what? Oh shit!!

"Ms. swan, have a seat", Mr. stein, the principal told me. Mr. stein was a man with a balding head, buck teeth, hump back, tiny nose, big eyes that made him look like an owl, and thin chapped lips. EW! GROSS! HE LOOKED BUTT UGLY!

The thing that made him even more butt ugly was that his head was bigger than his body. gasp!

Now that I'm really looking at him for the first time I think

_bi bo lody! got more head than he got body!_

_I guess when he eats, all the food goes to his head...literally!_

"what seems to be the problem?" I asked as politely as I could even though I wanted to laugh out loud.

Mr. stein glared at me with those owl eyes of his.

I shuddered. The old geezer gave me the creeps man!

"The problem is that you have angered the nurse and one of the security guard. you have detention!" he yelled.

My eyes got as big as saucers and I felt the color drain from my face.

"I did no such thing!" wait what if I did? oh no I really do have multiple personalities!! oh the horror! someone get me a witch doctor and pronto!!

"yes you did! don't argue with me, young lady!"

I cracked a smile despite the fact that I was on the verge of bawling my eyes.

_young lady? who was this geezer kidding! I'm an adult_!

I gave up easily and said I'd do the detention because if I did have personality problems I probably did something really unexcusable and I thought I deserved it.

I felt a little better now now that I got that off my chest. but...where is Edward and his family? it's not sunny today so he and alice and jasper should be here right now...right?

okay I'm overeacting here! they'll be here any minute. I'm sure of it.

_man I'm parched! _I thought lazily.

"can I have something to drink?" I asked.

Mr. stein stared at me skeptically before saying "er, um, okay...I guess".

He handed me Sprite soda.

I took a sip and immediately took three more sips.

wow this tastes GOOD!

_oh dear lord...not again!_

"I see your enjoying your soda", Mr. stein said nervously, looking highly disturbed.

A giggle escaped my mouth.

"are you a virgin?" I asked sweetly. "because I am!"

Mr. stein gulped loudly, looking disgusted and embarrased at the same time.

"that a little personal, don't ya think?" he asked nervously.

I giggled again. this was way to easy!

"are you going to answer the question?"

"no, of course not! thats none of your buisness!"

"it's obvious that your a virgin!"

Mr. stein's big eyes got even bigger. "what are you trying to say?"

"are you thinking what I'm thinking, Mr. steiny-kins?"

"WHAT?!"

"can I have some candy?" I asked.

"I don't understand. why would you want candy right now?"

I tapped my foot impatiently and pouted like a little kid. "JUST HAND OVER THE CANDY, OLD MAN! BEFORE I GO PSYCHO ON YO ASS!!"

Mr. stein reluctantly handed me a TWIX chocolate bar with a shaky hand. I snickered. I think he's scared of me.

"your scaring me",he whimpered.

"YOUR MOTHER!"

"ESCUSE ME!!"

I stuffed one of the Twix bars in my mouth and acted out a scene I had seen done in the commercial for Twix.

"NEED A MOMENT? CHEW IT OVER WITH TWIX!! DUH!"

I stuffed the chocolate in my mouth.

"OH COME ON, GRAMPS! YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT! WORK WITH ME HERE!!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!"

"I DON'T KNOW!!"

YOU NEED A THERAPIST!!"

my nostrils flared. "YOU BETTER GET ON BEFORE YOU GET SPIT ON!!"

"HUH?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE PUFFY?!"

"QUIT TALKING CRAZY! IF YOU DO IT AGAIN, I SWEAR I'LL PEE MY PANTS!!"

I scoffed in disgust and flipped my hair dramatically. "I AM SO OUT OF HERE! YOU NEED A LIFE!!"

surprisingly, Mr. stein started to sob, curling up in the fetal position. I rolled me eyes. "NOT YOU TOO!! FIRST MIKE NOW YOU? WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TOO?!"  
then i drank the rest of my soda and ate the rest of my candy and threw the can and wrapper on the ground. Them I raced out, laughing retardedly.

"I'M FREE. I'M FREE! HEY YOU OVER THERE...CAN I GIVE YOU A WEDGIE? I PROMISE IT WON'T HURT!" I screamed at a guy across the hall. The guy backed away in fear and took off runing down the hall, screaming like a little girl on crack.

I let out a ghostly cackle and rubbed my hands evilly.

"I'm gonna have some Fun with this!!"

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter


	4. My angel has returned to me!

Hyper : my angel has come back to me!! Hyper my angel has come back to me!!

Chapter four

**six sodas later**

"yo, mike-y, baby, Wazzzzuuuuuuuuup? you feelin' a'ight, my nizzle?" I slurred, my head dizzy and feeling more geared up than ever. every time I drunk a soda I would feel like a rocket that just blasted off into space.

Mike looked me over in confusion. "bella, what's wrong with you? you've been acting weird yesterday and today, well, you're just acting plain bizzare", he sais slowly, as if I were a toddler with hearing problems.

"do you wanna hear me sing a silly song, mike-y wike-y?" I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes at him.

Mike was flabbergasted and a loss for words as he swayed on his feet and sweat started to form on his forehead.

I covered my mouth to muffle a giggle that rolled off my tongue.

"um, sure, bella...I wanna hear you sing", Mike answered, his voice cracking on the last word.

I took a deep breath and puffed out my chest, then I begin to sing.

"ohhhhh...give me a home where the hippopotimus's roam and my best friend mike isn't a dyke!!"

Mike's eyes widened and most of the color drained from his face.

"y-y-you think I'm...g-g-gay?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, trying to look serious. "of course, I do, mike-y. why do you think I'm talking to you right now?"

Mike closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. I backed away from him on instinct. "If you're going to cry again...I'll just be going now..."

"I'm feeling really sorry for myself right about now", he said.

I shrugged indifferently. "yeah, you should. your lifestyle ain't so hot, M-nizzle.

he looked at me, confused. "who the heck is M-nizzle?"

I grinned. "you are. who else?"

Mike's face suddenly lit up. "yay! can I give you a gangsta name?"

"sure"

"how about...B-swizzle?" he asked giddily.

I bounced up and down in excitement, smiling like a full on retard. "yeah, that sounds wicked awesome, dude!"

"you said it, dudett!"

I rocked back and forth on my heels, hands behind back. "so, M-nizzle, do me a favor will ya?"

"sure, B-swizzle, what's that?"

"well...will you help me start a food fight today at lunch?"

Mike looked surprised. "er, I'm not sure I can do that".

my brows furrowed in frustration. "why not?"

"well, for one, we'd get in trouble, for another we'd have to clean the whole cafeteria, and for another, we'd...get in trouble", Mike answered.

I folded my arms and stuck out my tongue at him. that'll teach him!

"scaredy cat! scaredy cat!"

Mike sighed. "fine, I'll help you", he grumbled.

I smacked his arm as he turned to go. "what now?!"

"theres more".

"oh come on! enough with the wacky plans already! when is it going to stop!"

I laughed and whispered the rest of my genious plan into his ear...

**three more sodas later...**

I smelled him before I saw him. The sweet aroma filled my nostrils and head, making me feel lightheaded. just in that instant as I was about to fall...my angel reached out and caught me in his iron grip. I stared up at the godlike creature and inhaled his beauty and scent. I brought my lips to meet his and wounded my hands around his neck, pulling him closer and closer, so close that he had to push me away.

I growled unimpressively.

damn those boundaries! one day I WILL work my way around them!

"looks like someone missed me", Edward said in that beautifully seductive voice his, his eyes warm gold and smoldering.

I sucked in my breath and puffed out my chest, determined to not let his alluring good looks sway me. "what on earth are you doing, love? are you alright?" My angel asked me, smiling my favorite crooked smile that met his eyes.

For a moment I forgot who I was, my name, or where I was.

I lost my identity to be be exact and it was all because of his warm golden eyes that were filled with so much love and passion that I melted. I was putty in his hands.

I swayed ever so slightly, nearly falling to the floor and splitting my head open. Chuckling, Edward reached out and caught me again.

I cursed under my breath, no doubt he heard me, the eavesdropper!

Damn vampires and their ability to do every stinkin' thing right!!

"Bella? you don't look so good. I'm going to have to call Carlisle and see if he give you some pills or something" Edward said, worry creasing his stone-like forehead.

I shot him a glare. "are you implying that I've crazy, Edward Anthony Mason Cullen? if so then get away from me!"

Edward face got paler than usual. "bella, love, I swear I wasn't trying to offend you! I was only worrying about your health!"

"sure you were, Edward, and my mother is the queen of england!" I scoffed sarcastically. That'll teach him to insult...the great B-swizzle!

Oh that reminds me...

I puffed out my chest yet again and beat my hands on my chest, insantly getting a painful reaction to my now swollen breasts.

"I am TARZAN!!" I blurted out. the kids in the hallway turned to stare at us. we were now the center of attention. I ignored them and continued my impersonation of Tarzan, who was my idol...well at least for now!

"bella, please keep your voice down. I'm right here you don't have to yell", Edward whispered. The people in the hallway continued to stare at us. Edward too, ignored them.

I wasted no time in keeping voice down. "me tarzan and you jane! me caveman and you cavewoman! bend to my every whim,peasant...er...we go discover fire, no?"

The small hallway was filled with noise as every single person cackled, snickered, giggled, and did any forms of laughter they could make. some even snorted like pigs.

_what the heck are they laughing about?_ I thought angrily.

Edward however was not amused. His expression was frustrated and confused.

"Bella, it's either you tell me what's wrong with you or I'll have to bring Carlisle and Alice into this", Edward said quietly, choosing his words carefully.

I stood as stll as a pole and looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Bella? who the hell is this Bella person? are you two-timing me, Edward?" I yelled, my face red with rage, hands balled into fist.

The people around us really had their their eyes locked on us now, interested in the conversation.

I glared out at them. "if you know whats good for you, you'll get out of our buisness right now!" I yelled at them. The crowd of people quickly dispersed and went about their buisness.

_stupid innocents. when I'm a vampire I'll tear them all to shreds if they ever eavesdrop on my conversations. can't get no damn privacy these days_, I thought bitterly.

I flashed Edward the most evilest evil eye I could manage. "are you cheating on me Edward? I thought we had something special together! how could you do this to me, Eddy-kins?!" I said in a cracked voice.

If only he was human...

I would have done so many things too him...To get back at him...the two timing bastard!

"Bella, is your name sweetheart. Don't you remember, love?" Edward said softly, rubbing my shoulder with a cold hard hand.

I shrugged his hand off and scowled at him. I raised my hand and slapped him across the face...instantly hurting my hand.

"owwie ow!! you hurt my hand, you beastly creature!!" I shouted, clutching my hand to my chest.

Edward looked hurt. for a moment there I almost felt sorry for the poor guy...almost.

"Bella, I think you've lost your identity".

I looked at him in disgust. "what? that's preposturous! I know who I am!"

Edward pulled me closer to him and whispered in my ear "Bella, what is your name?"

I glared at him. why does he keep calling me such a horridly old fashioned name? That's his other girlfriends name.

"my name is...is...poopsie...the third!" yeah that's it! poopsie the third!"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "oh? well, what happened to the first and second poopsie's?"

I threw my head back and laughed out loud. "nothing you can prove!"

Edward's lips twitched, fighting a huge smile.

"we are still not finished of the topic of that bella creature you've been cheating on me with", then out of female instinct, I asked worriedly "is she prettier than me?"

Edward laughed and said "you're way more beautiful, let me tell you that".

I felt better. At least I'm prettier than her. "and don't think you've been let off the hook, young man, we still have some problems to work out!" I told him sternly, smacking him in the head.

"yes, ma'am...I'm going to call Carlisle".

"whhhhhhy?!" I whined childishly.

"then I'm going to ask alice if she saw you doing anything to make you get so crazy".

"ha! so it is true! you do think I'm crazy! I've caught you red handed! wait, is this why you cheated on me?"

Edward groaned and pulled out his cell phone. while he wasn't looking I ripped it out of his hand and threw it to the floor. it immediately split into a gazillion pieces. wait...is that even a word?

"what was that for?!"

"don't you dare call, Carlisle!"

"why not?"

"not another word or else I'll leave!"

Edward sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"oh that reminds me...where were you last night? I was worried sick! I nearly had a heartattack!"

Edward smiled apologetically. "Alice insisted that I help her pick out clothes with her at the mall since you weren't there. oh and what did you do to get grounded?"

"I did nothing. The principal is working against me, I tell ya!"

"no, bella, seriously, what did you do. That's so unlike you to do anything bad at school".

"what did I tell you about calling me that? for the last time my name is poopsie the third and I would advise you to call me that or I will personally take care of the Bella person you're cheating on me with! and that's the honest to go truth!"

"Poopsie..."

"what?!"

Edward shook his head. "never mind".

"where were you last night?"

"Emmett and I tore up half of the house so esme and carlisle forced us to clean it up".

"oh, so where were you this morning?"

"I was hunting".

I stomped my foot on the ground like a stubborn child and said "I'm hungry. let's go to lunch and meet up with the rest of your family...sexy eddy". I giggled at the last part and hoped he wasn't paying attention.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks(no pun intended) and turned around and looked at me curiously. "did you just call me, sexy eddy?"

I rocked back and forth on my heels. "maybe I did, maybe I did. what's it to ya?"

he smiled knowingly at me. "come on little human. it's time for you to get something to eat. are you sure you're alright?"

I rolled my eyes. this guy really knew how to annoy someone!

"I'm fine. just peachy keen, thank you. now lets go! I'm STARVED! my stomach is growling and it scares me!"

Edward chuckled and kissed my lips, pulling away way too SOON!!

he may be cheating on me but MAN can that boy KISS!!

The only thing I could think of as we walked to the cafeteria was

_food fight! food fight! food fight! M-nizzle better have my back on this!_

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	5. Food fight!

Hyper : food fight?! Hyper food fight?!

Chapter five

Sexy Eddy and I settled into our seats at the usual lunch table we sat at in the cafeteria. I couldn't stop bouncing up and down. I was so excited about what I was going to do that I didn't touch the plate of food that Sexy Eddy had gotten for me. While I was drinking my Fanta soda and one of the many little bags of Skittles that I had stolen from some boy, I caught Alice looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"what?" I asked her with my mouth filled with chewed up Skittles.

"you know what!" Alice hissed at me, so quietly that only me and Sexy eddy could hear her.

Sexy eddy stared at me with suspicious eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about", I lied.

Dammit! why does she have the power to see the future? she always ruins things!

"What did you see Alice?" Sexy eddy whispered to his sister.

"well, bella over her is planning to start a food fight with...mike", Alice answered, shoting me a glare.

"bella, honey, why would you want to start a food fight? you'd get yourself and mike in trouble", Sexy eddy said, pulling me closer to his cold embrace.

I growled, a sound that sounded both pathetic and grotesque.

"you are so gonna pay!" I yelled at Alice.

"please don't do it", Alice pleaded, lip jutted out in a pout and all. I bit my lip. I hated breaking Alice's 'heart' but I was so geared up from that soda that I didn't want to listen to her. I just wanted have fun.

"I'm gonna do it whether you like it or not", I said, stuffing another handful of skittles in my mouth.

"where did you get those?" Sexy eddy asked.

"er...I bought them?" I answered.

"really?"

I shot him a dirty look. "are you calling me a liar?"

"no, love, but I knew you were lying".

OH NO HE DIDN'T!!

"Edward..."alice started but I cut her off.

"I hate both of you!!"

"you know you don't mean that" Sexy eddy whispered.

Jessica with her nosy self piped into our conversation. "hey guys! whatcha talking about?" she asked me.

I ignored her.

"please don't do it" Sexy eddy whispered in my ear, kissing up and down my neck.

"stop dazzling me! you're distracting me" I said.

"that's the whole point", Sexy eddy chuckled.

"save it for the bedroom!" jessica exclaimed.

Alice, Sexy eddy, and I all turned to look at her, like, what?

"mind your own damn buisness!" I told her.

"you're no fun", jessica said, frowning. she scooted over to the other side of the table where her other friends were.

"promise me you wont do it", Sexy eddy said, kissing my jaw.

I smiled wickedly and picked my slice of pizza off my tray...and looked at alice.

"you better not throw that at me", she said through gritted teeth, her expression deadly.

I snickered. if looks could kill...then I'd be in my grave right about now...

"I'm not gonna throw it at you...yet".

I took a bite of the pizza and dropped it back on my tray.

"Edward, what's wrong with Bella?" Alice asked worriedly.

Sexy eddy just shook his head. "I don't know. I was hoping you would know".

"no, strangely, I didn't have a vision or anything. I think it has something to do with that candy of hers...which I'm pretty sure she stole".

I glared at her and hugged the Skittles to my chest protectively."don't you dare touch my babies!" I screeched.

Sexy eddy rubbed his chin in concentration. "well, now that you think about it, literally, I do think her behaving this hyper has something to do with the candy...and don't forget the soda", he said.

I gasped and hugged my bottle of soda to my chest. "I wont let you come anywhere my babies!"

Sexy eddy smiled crookedly at me. MAN! I could have swore that I peed my pants! I can never resist the urge to kiss him and when he smiles...I just want to take him right there!

"Bella, love, please give me the candy and beverage, please?" Sexy eddy pled, reaching out his hand. I smacked his hand away.

"never! you'll eat them!"

"you know we can't eat these things".

"how do I know you're not lying?"

"Bella..."

"oh save it for someone who cares!"

"but...you do care".

"how do you know? are you sure you can't read my mind?"

Sexy eddy sighed. "Bella, please, give me the sugar infested items".

"no! you can't make me!"

I didn't let him reply. I scooped up my "sugar infested items" and sped off out of the cafeteria, tripping a few times and nearly splitting my head open.

There I found M-nizzle (Mike) curled up in a ball on the ground and crying like a little girl. I snickered. I should have bought a camera with me! I'm sure everyone would love to see M-nizzle crying.

"get up off the floor, queerdo!" I shouted. M-nizzle looked up at me in surprise and said "I don't think I can help you with that foodfight".

I rolled my eyes. "and why the hell not, you fucking fucktard?!"  
Mike cringed at that last part before continuing his explanation.

"because I'm scared of the principal".

I laughed aloud. "oh get up and suck it up! be a man for once! show them what you're made of!"

M-nizzle stood up and puffed out his chest. "you know what? I think your right! I am going to show them what I'm made of!" he all but shouted.

I grabbed his elbow and shoved him back into the cafeteria.

"let's do it!" M-nizzle said.

I put on a retarded looking grin and said "okey-dokey, artichokey!"  
M-nizzle looked at me with an annoyed expression. "don't ever say that again!"

I beamed at him. "you're the ice beneath my skates!" I said, which I got from the show Hannah Montana!

M-nizzle smiled at this. "well, you can say that!"he said.

I ran back to where Sexy eddy and Alice in wonderland were (my nickname for Alice but I'd never tell her!)

"hey dudes, guess what? guess what? guess what?!"

"what?" Alice and sexy eddy asked in unison.

"I'm going to sing!" I said

"you are?" Sexy eddy asked, confused. and if I do say so myself--he looked pretty darn good doing it!

"oh my god! I know what you're going to sing!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands like a four year old on crack.

I smiled and stepped up on top of their table. "hey dudes! who wants to hear me sing?"

Everyone in the cafeteria turned to look at me. "yes!" most of them shouted in unison.

I giggled. Sexy eddy just gaped at me. The little "o" he made with his mouth could have fit at least twenty flies in there!

I took a swig of my soda and started to sing...loudly...

"pull up your pants like just like 'em

take out the trash just like 'em

gettin' your cash like e'm

fast like 'em

Girl, you wanna act like he did, I'm talkin' 'bout

security codes on everything

on vibrate so your phone don't ever ring

joint account and another one he don't know about

wish I could switch up the roles and I could be that

tell you I love you, but when you call I never get back

would you ask them questions like me, like where you at?

'cause I'm out, four in the morning, rolling, doing my own thing

what if I had a thing on the side

made you cry?

would the rules change up or would they still apply ?

If I played you like a toy?

sometimes I wished I could act like a boy

can't be gettin mad

what, you mad?

can't handle that

Girl go ahead and act just like 'em

go run the streets just like 'em

go home, missin sleep like 'em

creep like 'em

front wit your friends

act hard when you wit 'em, like 'em

keep a straight face when you tell a lie

always keep an airtight alibi

keep it hid in the dark

what he don't know wont break his heart

Can't be getting mad

what, you mad?

can't handle that

can't handle that

can't handle that

can't handle that

if I was always gone

let the sun beat me home

told you I was with my crew when I knew it wasn't true

walked a mile off in your shoes

messing with your head again

dose of your own medicine

cant be gettin mad

what, you ma?

can't handle that

can't handle that

can't handle that

can't handle that

If I paged (wold you like that)

had friends(would you like that)

never called (would you like that)

no, no, you wouldn't like that, no!

what if I played you like a toy?

somtimes I wish I could act like a boy

Can't handle that..."

when I was done singing everyone just stared at me, even m-nizzle, for he didn't know that I was going to sing. Even Sexy eddy and Alice had stared at me open mouthed.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. I yelled "food fight!!" and food started flying.

the last thing I heard was Alice screaming "Isabella Marie Swan!!" before I passed out.

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	6. Finding out the truth

Hyper : Finding out the truth Hyper Finding out the truth

**I am so sorry that I have kept you all waiting. I've been busy with the other stories. please, forgive my selfishness because now I'll grace you with another chapter! please don't be mad at me! Oh and I had writers block so forgive me for the cliffie that I left you with!**

Chapter six

When I opened my eyes, I noticed alot of things.

for one, Edward was pacing across the room.

for another, Alice was sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, her hands balled up in fists, eyes closed, and...clothes covered in...food?

what's up with that?

My stomach gurgled and a burp escaped my mouth.

Edward stopped pacing the room and in a flash he was at my side.

"are you alright, now?", he asked, pressing his palm to my forehead, looking at me worriedly.

normally, this would've been normal for him to ask but this time was different. something was wrong. something in his tone told me that something was terribly wrong.

what could I have done?

"I'm fine", I said in an unconvincing tone.

A loud growl sounded from the other side of the room.

Startled, I clutched Edward's shirt.

"what was that?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper, scared.

Edward stroked my hair, a thing he did on a daily basic.

"that was just Alice", he answered, his voice filled with hatred. I could almost see the venom seeping out of his mouth.

I shuddered and looked at Alice, who was now huddled up in the corner of the room, eyes closed, her whole body trembling violently.

I clutched Edward's shirt tighter. "Edward? what's wrong with Alice?" I asked softly, burying my face in his shirt.

Edward suddenly stopped stroking my hair and pulled my face gently up from his shirt, so he could look into my eyes.

I got lost in his topaz eyes and I could have sworn that I felt myself melting at his touch.

"Bella, don't you remember anything before you...fainted?" he asked quietly.

My eyes got wide and my heart rate sped up.

I did WHAT?!

"I-I fainted? how? when? where?" I stuttered, once again burying my face in his shirt as if in shame.

"Today when I had gotten back from...hunting...I noticed that were acting rather strangely", he said.

"strange?how so?" I asked eagerly.

Edward let out a deep sigh. "stranger than you think. you kept insisting that you're actual name was Poopsie The Third and you kept refering to me as...as Sexy Eddy. you were more Hyper than you usually are. Plus everytime that I called you by your biological name, you would insist that I was cheating on you", he cringed at that last one, as did I.

How could such a gentlemanly person like him cheat on me, the love of his life?

Not that I would blame him if he decided to go with some other girl...I mean I'm not all that attractive...at least that's what I think...

But that Sexy Eddy thing was hilarious!

did...did I actually call him that? no way!

"did I do anything else?" I asked calmly, afraid of his answer.

He took a deep breath and said "well, when we went to lunch you sung a song that I didn't recognize. I think it was called "like a boy" or something like that".

huh? where have I heard that song before? I think I heard on the radio once.

"what happened then?"

"Then...you started a foodfight...and right afterwards...you fainted just like that. I have no idea what happened. I think it had to do with the soda you were drinking".

Soda? so soda's the culprit huh?

My eyes popped wider. "so...did I do anything to upset Alice?"

"yes, unfortunately, you did, love".

"I did? what did I do?"

"Alice had specifically told you not to start a food fight and started one anyways. So...uh...when food started flying...Alice got her clothes messed up..." his voice trailed.

I looked up at him in horror.

I disobeyed Alice? how could that have happened? she's my best friend...

Me?singing? throwing food? please tell me nothing else went wrong!

I got out from Edwards embrace and stood up.

"what are you going to do?" Edward asked me.

"I'm going to apologize to Alice. I know how much she loves her designer clothes...the point is I shoildn't have did what I did", I said.

I walked over to her and tapped her shoulder, which was shaking violently, as was her whole body.

"Alice, I'm really sorry..." my voice trailed off as her head whipped around and she growled at me, baring her teeth.

I backed away from her as I realized what else was wrong with her.

Her eyes were charcoal black, as was irises, and under her eyes were what looked to be black bruises.

I gasped.

She hadn't hunted in a while.

She was thirsty.

I backed away even more as she got into a crouch, ready to pounce.

She wouldn't...would she?

I was scared to death.

"sorry?! is that all you can say?!" she yelled.

A loud growl from beneath her chest sounded throughout the whole room.

"I-I d-didn't mean to...I swear", I stuttered.

Alice scoffed in disgust, her eyes seeming to get darker and darker with each word I said.

"you ruined my clothes!" She screamed at me. "and all you have to say is that you're sorry?!"

I cringed at her words but I wasn't prepared for what she did next...

She lunged at me but before she could fully attack, Edward jumped in front of me and restrained her.

Alice shot me a deathly glare. I could see her fangs now. they were so sharp, so very sharp...with venom seeping from her mouth.

Tears escaped my eyes and formed a puddle on the floor.

what have I gotten myself into?

"Stay away from her!" Edward whispered in a menacing tone.

Alice sneered. "Get your hands off of me! I want to kill her!" she screamed, thrashing and clawing at him, trying to get out of his grip.

I laid down on the cold floor and curled up in the fetal position with my thumb in my mouth.

"Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, get in here!" Edward growled.

The next thing I knew, Emmett came bounding in with Jasper and Carlisle at his heels.

Emmett grabbed one of Alice's feet and Jasper grabbed the other one.

"what happened?" Carlisle asked Edward calmly, too calmly.

Edward whispered something in his ear and they both exchanged nods.

"we need to get her to a forest...and quick", Carlisle said.

Alice glared at me one last time and let out a monstrous growled that ripped through the entire house like fire.

I cried harder, burying my face in my shirt.

"Bella, I am so sorry that you had to see this. I promise it wont happen again", Edward said sincerely, embracing me in a tight, cold, hard, hug.

"she hates me", I whispered sadly.

"she does not hate you.it's just that her thirst had overcome her. she'll be back to normal by tommorrow", Edward said, stroking my hair.

I pulled my head out of my shirt to look into his beautiful eyes.

"do you promise?" I asked, fresh tears forming in my eyes.

"I promise", Edward said. He kissed my lips.

I closed my eyes as my tears began raining down my cheeks like a waterfall.

I felt like I had lost my pixie-like, perky, future-seeing, friend who was known as the one and only Alice Cullen.

I prayed that she'd forgive me.

**so...do you like the picture of Alice on the top? I thought it was a nice touch! well, anyway, please read and comment if you liked this chapter!**

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